Differences Aren't Major

 
I grew up going to Christian schools and going to church. My mom and most of her side of the family is Baptist, so I am fond of saying that I got a dose of guilt growing up.
 I only remember bits and pieces from church. I mean, I haven’t stepped foot inside of one since I was 13 years old. I remember going to Sunday school, and not knowing what anyone was talking about. I remember my mom giving me a hymnal to use as a flat surface so I could draw on the back of the program during particularly boring sermons. I remember liking choir and all the activities I got to do with my friends. I remember liking all the pastors and thinking they were good people. I remember singing, and I even remember some hymns. I remember getting going to breakfast before church every Sunday. I remember being confused why kids in my group acted one way at church and a completely different way at school.
Bits and pieces.
 Going to church wasn’t something I loved as a kid, it wasn’t some place I necessarily wanted to go, it was just the routine. I never thought to ask if it was negotiable.
 I was a pretty sheltered kid. I didn’t know a lot about what was going on in the world, or really, outside of my own backyard, nor did I care. I didn’t have the mental capacity to take in much other than school, MTV, church, chores, activities, repeat. That was my life as I knew it, just a series of nouns. Don’t get me wrong, I had a fantastic childhood! I got to go on trips with my family, and I’ve been fortunate enough to see and do a lot of things in my life so far, I look back on my childhood very fondly. But the day-in-day-out was rote, and church was just a part of it.
 I remember one time, during a sermon, I was sitting next to a kid that went to my school, but I didn’t know him, he had come with a friend. I knew he lived in the foster home that existed somewhere in town. What I knew of foster care, I got from the movie Angels in the Outfield… did I mention I was sheltered? The pastor asked us to bow our heads in prayer. During the prayer, I peeked over at him. He didn’t have his head bowed, his head was straight forward and his eyes were open. After the prayer, I asked him why he didn’t pray.
I remember he told me, “I don’t believe in God,” and my mind immediately started racing.
I was shocked. That rocked my worldview big time.
I didn’t know what to say, so I just said, “What do you mean you don’t believe in God?” Everyone I knew believed in God. I knew no one that was different from me, and I had never met a single person that didn’t believe in the exact same things until that moment. He said, “I’m already on the bus to hell.” And later we went up to the altar and prayed for him to be saved.
 That day I discovered that I had built up a confirmation bias. I had surrounded myself with too many like-minded individuals for too long, and I was unknowledgeable about a great number of things, so I started researching.
 Around 13 years old I started getting more heavily involved in skateboarding and stopped going to church regularly. 
 My parents are still believers, as far as I know, we don’t really talk about it much. My brother and my sister were with me, I think they tend to lean towards my view.
Sometimes I do miss the community that came with belonging to a church, but I’ve never cared about any religion enough to really belong to it. I always just went to church to keep everyone happy.
 I live in the Bible-belt. I coexist with Christians all the time. I consider myself a kind person. I try to be good. I use most of the ten commandments in everyday life and I get along just fine with most people. I don’t dislike religion, or religious people. I think everyone should be allowed to believe whatever they want.
Unfortunately, I know far too many deeply religious people that alienate those outside of their own belief system, which is about the only thing I cannot abide.
It’s true that there are some that are more inclusive, more welcoming of others that have different points of view, different lifestyles, different sexualities, and those are the people I love being around. But being a freethinker, whatever you want to label it as, does not have anything to do with how I lead my life. My lack of fidelity to religion does not make me a bad person, on the contrary, I think it makes me more open to possibilities.
However, I do make mistakes and when i do i ask for forgiveness. Even though I don't go to church every week, I still believe. I pray on my best and worse days. I pray when i miss my friends and family. When a friend is sad, I motivate them to pray. It's okay if people don't believe in what you do.