Independent

Applying to colleges is one thing but actually getting the money is another. All this stress is actually going towards the more stress you will have when you are actually in college. 

Some days I want to continue striving towards my dream college. The next day i want to go to an art school. However most days i want to get married so I will not have to rely on myself.

Getting married right away is what I really want deep down. I could watch Lifetime movies all day while I raise my children. I would have time to learn new hobbies and become a better cook. Our house will forever be spotless. When my parents come over they will see only how good of a mother/wife I am. 

Even though I really want to get married and start a family after high school, I know I would feel guilty of cutting my dreams short. After seeing my mother struggle raising my siblings and I by herself that was when I first saw how valuable and important education is. She has a master’s from ASU and when my dad left us with nothing she still managed to get us things we needed and most times things we wanted. 

There were a lot of times when we would return home in the evenings when there would be no hot water or electricity because of the lack of bills. Those nights all four of us including my mom would lie in the same bed and keep each other warm. I could not be mad at her for having to take a cold shower because on top of our school tuitions she also had to pay her bills for the water, electricity, truck, house, cable, phone, and our food and school uniforms. 

My mom planned an eternity life with my dad, however his plans changed. This taught me that you could never be too dependent on a person in your life. Although I would love to get married to skip out of college, I want to be independent. I also want people, possibly my kids, to be dependent on me. You can never be too dependent on someone because plans changed whether you don't want them too.